I like a nice cup of tea and a slice of cake... The frenzied electioneering in the UK has induced some cake-related silliness today... the general election 2010, according to the world of cakes......
[fruitcake]A good old-fashioned, solid as a house/brick fruitcake, equally at home in a steel-worker's lunchbox or the Queen's garden party - a cake that exclaims honesty and decency - a family cake. I am sure Tony Benn is partial to a slice of fruitcake. Douse it with some scotch and put a fancy, tartan ribbon around this beast and you'll have a veritable Dundee, add a whitewash of fancy icing and it's a Christmas cake, or it's a wedding cake, an anniversary cake - diversity is part of its charm. This is a cake for all seasons - it's seen the best of times, the worst of times and promises to sustain us in the future - but it is, if I may say, just a little bit too brown for my liking right now.....
[victoria sponge cake]Ugh, the insipid-looking Victoria Sponge! It makes me think of my schooldays - such as domestic science lessons, where we had to learn the contents of the utensils drawer before progressing to the mixing bowl. A light dusting of icing sugar hides any irregularity in the baking. It's all in the cuts with a Victoria sponge; very precise and measured - when times are tough don't expect a generous slice of gateau. This cake doesn't travel well and pales into insignificance when seen next to its exotic European cousins. This is a cake that knows its place - usually at coffee mornings, charity events and country markets. If you look closely, you'll see that within a day or so the jam nearly always turns a little bit brown......
[lemon cheesecake]But... cakes don't always have to be this way - it's time to rethink what cake is. Introducing the fresh-faced, zesty, lemon cheesecake - much devoured at middle-class dinner parties. It doesn't look or taste like a traditional cake, and some of it is clearly unbaked - but I can forgive that. This is a cake that you have to eat politely with a fork, and perhaps with a glass of something sparkling. If you think the fruitcake is dowdy and the Victoria sponge reminds you of the old days, a slice of lemon cheesecake promises something new. Refreshing on the palate after a heavy meal, it is best served lightly chilled. I like cheesecake for breakfast. My only issue with cheesecake is that it doesn't keep very long, but everything about it tastes good......
[carrot cake]Carrot cake; a cake that just might be good for you. It's a little bit nutty at times but at heart it's a democratic, caring, sharing cake - and it doesn't mind being baked in a square tin. On the contrary, when it is served up as smaller squares it means there's always enough to go around. Flavour is more important than looks with a carrot cake, but celebrity endorsement will give it some chic credibility. I like to make my own version, with the addition of some dried chillies, because I'm a bit of a rebel... (see also courgette cake, a slightly greener version)...
[cupcakes]Then, there are the plethora of silly cupcakes that turn up at every party event. Always entertaining, they spark conversation and add colour to the cake table, but no one will admit to actually liking them. Well, are they a cupcake, a fairy cake or just a half-baked muffin with a crazy hairdo?...
[battenburg cake]Battenburg cake, what the heck - is it a British or a German cake? This is two cakes regimentally spliced together with a sticky marzipan coating. This is a cake that harks back to the days of the Empire - it has no nutritional value and my big issue with the segregated colour is that it makes me feel a bit queezy - definitely one to avoid....
[jaffa cakes]Lastly, there are jaffa cakes, which aren't really cakes at all, but relentlessly aspire to be at the big cake table. They are stale, stodgy biscuit imposters that believe with a slab of orange-flavoured jelly and fake chocolate topping they look the cakey business. No one takes these cakes seriously, and, after eating just one of them, you will suddenly feel quite thirsty......